We all have one—that one friend whose job can’t be explained within a reasonable amount of time. A reasonable amount of time to explain a job is one word. I can deal with up to 30 seconds, tops. Otherwise, I don’t want to know. For me this one friend with a really confusing job is Adam, a thirty something investment something or another. The worst thing is I often forget that I’ve asked a thousand times about his profession. But every time he starts to explain it and it takes more than 1 minute, I stop listening. You’d think I’d have learned by now. But I haven’t. I usually stop listening when I hear “hedge fund.” “Investment” and “bank” are two other words that lead me to a place in my head, far away from the explanation of some job in which I have no interest. Adam buys me a lot of drinks, so you’d think I’d be interested in where his money comes from. But I’m not. I’m interested in vodka.

Here is a photo of Adam and me, drunk on Adam’s money.