The fact that my friends and I behave like idiots at bars is nothing new. I’ve had my fair share of drunken moments that have led me to avoid certain establishments for weeks at a time out of pure shame. But something that has recently come to my attention is the fact that people unknowingly behave badly at bars. Now I am no expert on manners or etiquette when it comes to most things. But dive bar behavior is something with which I’ve grown quite familiar. And after years of drinking away my paychecks, I feel like I’ve learned some shit.

1. Know what you want.

Seriously? Nothing is more annoying than someone in a crowded bar who finally gets the bartender’s attention but has no idea what drink he wants to order. This person is wasting everyone’s time. Also, how the fuck old are you? How do you not know what you want to drink?

2. Be considerate of other people attempting to drink their feelings.

You know what pisses me off? When I am in a super crowded bar, trying to get a drink, and two people who obviously have been served are having a heart to heart at the bar, in the way of everyone else. That’s fine if you are at a restaurant or a piano bar, but when there are tons of people waiting, move your ass out of the way.

3. Waving your money around is demeaning and obnoxious. Just don’t.

You are not at a strip club; you’re at a bar. No need to show the bartender that you have money. All the people at the bar have money if they expect to buy drinks. Waving cash at the bartender makes you look like a chode. Wait your turn just like everyone else, asshole.

These three simple steps seem obvious to most, but in my experience, some people are unaware.